FOMO – Finding the Balance

My wife is a total legend. I’m punching above my weight like a raccoon trying to fight a bear.

My family are lunatics. The good kind. The ones who throw you in the air like a toddler—laughing, even when you’re crying.

My friends are brilliant. Like badgers: nocturnal, elusive, but a joy when you find them.

That metaphor got away from me. But the truth underneath is simple: I’ve got great people in my life. And I forget that sometimes. Especially when medicine demands everything.

FOMO—the Fear Of Missing Out—isn’t just a Gen Z buzzword. It’s a lived experience for anyone trying to balance a career in healthcare with, well, everything else. Whether it’s weddings, birthdays, holidays or just sleeping in past 6am, medicine will steal moments from you without apology.

So here are 10 completely unqualified, painfully lived-in lessons about trying to find that mythical work-life balance.

1. Can’t It Be Both?

Sometimes, your social life and your clinical life will collide. That teaching day that ends in drinks? Grab it. Those conference nights that become impromptu karaoke with a vascular surgeon from Dundee? Yes, please.

Some of the best memories I’ve made in medicine came from the spaces in-between. Don’t always pick work over life. Look for the overlap.

2. Remember Who Got You Here

Parents. Friends. Pets. Partners. The people who held you up through OSCEs, finals, night shifts and breakdowns—they don’t disappear just because you’re busy now.

Support is like a garden. You can’t piss on it and expect it to grow.

3. Some Plants Don’t Survive the Move

Not every friendship will make it through the grind. That mate who resents your night shifts, your missed calls, your cancelled plans? It hurts, but maybe they’re not part of this season.

Mourn the ones that matter, let go of the ones that don’t.

4. Hobbies Save Lives

You need a non-clinical outlet. If the only thing you talk about is work, you’ll either burn out or become intolerable.

Even simple hobbies can improve wellbeing. Make bad art. Start a garden. Learn to cook. Whatever gets you off the ward and back into your body.

5. It’s Not a Popularity Contest… But Still

Being someone people want to swap shifts with is underrated. Mutual respect makes rota life survivable.

You don’t need to be best friends, but being the person who doesn’t make life harder? That earns you favours when you need them.

6. No-One Is Coming to Save You

That rota clash? That missed holiday? That burnout?

It’s on you to flag it, fix it, or at least try. Nobody else knows what you need. No one else is checking your calendar.

7. Schedule Like a Monster

Put everything in the calendar. Even “do nothing” time.

A good diary is like a good antibiotic: broad-spectrum, hard to ignore, and saves your ass when you’re in trouble.

8. What Actually Matters?

This is where Maslow’s ghost starts spinning.

At the bottom of your pyramid is your foundation. Family, rest, sanity. Build that wide. Build that strong. Whatever you put on top—career, hobbies, accolades—needs a solid base.

9. Health Comes First

You’re no good to anyone if you’re dead—or a walking cortisol bomb.

Eat properly. Sleep where you can. Move your body. Say no when you’re broken. And if you’re spiralling, tell someone.

Being well isn’t selfish. It’s professional.

10. Family Actually Comes First (Don’t Tell My Wife I Said This Second)

Your partner. Your kids. Your chosen family. These people don’t just love you—they need you present. That might mean saying no to an extra shift. That might mean taking the hit on a CV bullet point.

It’s worth it.

So FOMO - Where Does That Leave Us?

Most of us will rotate between three states:

• Work is fine, life is a mess.

• Life is fine, work is a mess.

• Everything’s fine (this lasts 3–5 business minutes).

Perfect balance? Rare. But regular realignment is doable.

Take stock. Nudge the dials. Speak up before the wheels fall off.

This is all your life. Not just the bit in scrubs.

Stay positive.

—DW